you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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