he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
