man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize