the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
