need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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