After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
