I heard we made out
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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