well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
