people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
