You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
me + whiskey = a bad person
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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