I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize