There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
