I look better un-naked...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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