I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
