i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
