We need to rekindle our bromance
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
