I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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