my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
