Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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