planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
