Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
