I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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