she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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