I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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