Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
