I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
