What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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