wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Please don't give away my fajitas
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
