Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
