We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, beer. Big fan.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
