your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize