Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
this hospital has no fireball
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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