hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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