I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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