pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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