im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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