Can Purell be used as lube?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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