whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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