around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
