I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize