K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
