you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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