Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
