NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
