Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
