Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
