Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
