Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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