The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you win again, gameday.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I deserve this hangover.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
