I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
