don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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