o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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