im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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