I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
