Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
