His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
