Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im about as happy as oj after his trial
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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