He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
