we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
