Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
